I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
