And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
