I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
