I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
