pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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