i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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