Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
