hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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