he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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