its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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