So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
