He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
