when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
