I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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