someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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