I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
