New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
