Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Also, beer. Big fan.
how drunk are you?
Several
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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