you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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