im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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