We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
