So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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