I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
