I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
