Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
