What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
