we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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