What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
