I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
