i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
