I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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