how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
