He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
