my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
