I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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