Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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