hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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