I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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