conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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