He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Someone came in the potted fern
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
