On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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