So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
