She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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