I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
