wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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