I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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