my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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