Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
