My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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