I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
