Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
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