OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
