Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
