i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
