problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
